The liability waiver form asked a few simple questions, including, but not limited to:

1.Are you afraid of animals?  No.

2.Are you afraid of heights?  No.

3.Do you weigh less than 200 lbs?  Yes.

4.Are you able to understand instructions

in English?  Yes.

I answered truthfully, most notably, to one and two. I’d always liked animals, have been atop many mountains and rooftops and have never been the slightest bit scared. I would later discover that I had inadvertently lied to the fine folks at the National Park Service.

We’d been on the river for 8 days, and it had been a fantastic trip – relaxed and laid back. We had brought enough booze to satisfy a shriner’s convention and were eating like kings. I wished it didn’t have to end, and for most of the group, it didn’t, at least not yet. But a few of us, only afforded 8 days away from the salt mine, were either hiking or riding mules out at the halfway point.

Phantom Ranch sits 4,800 feet lower than the South Rim of The Grand Canyon. My little brother, Micky, and I would be getting out here, and we’d decided to ride mules out of the canyon on the Bright Angel Trail. What fun!

I was introduced to my mule, Mona, a mountain of a beast and by far the tallest animal I’d ever seen besides a giraffe, but she seemed to like me, so I was cool as a cucumber, not knowing the terror which lay in store. Right off the bat, we crossed a suspension bridge with the mighty Colorado River a hundred feet below, and I thought, well, this is unsettling, but I’ll get used to it. I did not. Soon, we were on the edge of a cliff overlooking the river a thousand feet below, or a thousand and seven feet since Mona was so goddamned tall. Like most mules, she liked to walk right on the edge of the narrow trail, and when we stopped to rest, the guides would make sure the mules heads were hanging over the edge of the cliff as they tried to eat grass, which gave me more than a little anxiety, knowing I could slide over the saddle horn at Mona’s slightest jump.

I’m not what you’d call a cowboy, and my experience with horses is limited. I like them just fine, but they don’t seem to like me, and I’ve been bucked off of almost every one I’ve ever gotten on. Keeping in mind that Mona was only half a horse didn’t make me feel any safer, and, if anything, I was increasingly unnerved by the thought that maybe mules liked me even less than horses did.

In the end, the ride was relatively uneventful, aside from being scared to death the entire time. I decided to write a letter to the Park Service and advise them to add a question to the waiver…

5. Are you afraid of being bucked off of a mule and over a cliff?  YES.

Sometimes magic happens in the studio. I wanted Gary Clark Jr. to play guitar on “Mona”, but we did’t really know him very well… He was starting to get some national exposure, but I figured he was still an Austin cat, and asked Lisa, the owner of Arlyn Studio, if she could ask. She told me he was going to stop by the studio to shoot a video for Spotify to promote his new record that he had just recorded at Arlyn, and I could hit him up then. He showed up and I asked if he was gonna be in town that week. He was headed to NYC (I didn’t ask what for), so I said “well, shit, I was hoping to get you to play on a song.” Gary said, “Well, you wanna cut it now?” So, we did. Jacob and Joseph threw up another amp, Gary borrowed Chris’ guitar, and we laid it down in about 20 min. This version is take two. One of the Spotify people asked Jacob if this kind of thing happens all the time, and he said “only in Austin.” Four days later, Gary was on SNL. Turns out, he’s kind of a big deal these days but isn’t too cool